Motivation

Today I managed to get my stuff together and arrange for everyone to be somewhere so I could go out. As a sidebar, I have to say I find it really frustrating that if I want to do anything, it is my responsibility to ensure everyone else is sorted. Even if I am going out for dinner with the girls, I have to feed everyone before I go. I digress.

Today I attended the first of 5 motivational sessions and it was actually really good. It wasn't the stand up rah-rah of Stephen Covey but it was structured in a way that made me think. What am I good at and what am I not good at. Initial motivation probably isn't really my problem. I am the ultimate "Ideas Man". What I am not, very clearly, is 'Action Man'. Pun intended.

The course is structured into blocks so as to deal with different segments as we go. It was great to have the opportunity and push to look introspectively at myself. What is my motivation and what drives me. What I did find that the person that I am nastiest to, the one who really gets all my mistreatment is myself. Things I would never do to a boss, in a workplace, I don't think twice about doing to myself.

Heres a classic example. Since Mum died I have cared less about mundane jobs - like the bills. They come in and I can identify them from the envelope. I know they are bills, I simply choose not to open them and pop them in a drawer. They all go in the same drawer. Then they start to change colour and come more regularly. Some of them that is, and they still go in the drawer. I assume with some of them they are beginning to threaten disconnection of the service. Thats what the phone, electricity and gas do. Its not that I don't have the money to pay, its really that I can't be bothered and don't want to deal with it. Ridiculous now that I write it down.

The radio went off the other day as the alarm for the big squirrel at 5:30am. You can imagine I was not at all impressed. I would usually roll over and go back to sleep, but this particular morning was an add about paying your car registration by month and not forgetting to pay it. I was not rolling over this morning as it reminded me that the car rego had not been paid. They do not send reminders just police cars that find you on the road and fine you double on the spot (sadly this I know from experience). Not only that but an unregistered car on the road does not have TAC coverage and is a big problem. It was this problem that moved me to action to pay that particular bill. The consequences seem to have to be insurmountable for me to take action.

It is for this reason that my homework will be addressing this area of my life. This roadblock that I use as an excuse to not do the things that I want to do because this is not done. I need to get control back, one baby step at a time.

Return

 My eldest has returned triumphantly, albeit very tired and smelly, from Cuboree. Our family dynamic has been a bit off as he has been away from a whole week, so we are all pleased to have him back home.  I think just as pleased as he is to be here - and the thought of sleeping in his own bed!

Cuboree 8 was run by Scouts Victoria in Gembrook this year. It is a bi-annual event and this year was the biggest on record. 3000 kids aged 7-10 along with 1500 volunteers were camping for the week and along with feeding, watering and generally keeping them safe, they also had a myriad of activities to keep all these kids busy during the day. There were no electronics allowed - at all!

 They set up a Facebook page to keep us in touch with what was going on and this was filled with group photos like the one above. I scoured these searching in vain for my bespectacled boy. Yet, we get home and I learn he is wearing a fluorescent yellow hat - good to know. When we looked at the pictures from the closing ceremony, the ones I hadn't seen, here is he easily visible in about 10 shots! Typical.

It was so well run - such precision. From letting us know when the busses were arriving to managing to feed that many kids. Most of the adults were volunteers so a massive thank you for all of their hard work and helping Xandy have such an awesome week.

Success

I like giving presents. I like thinking about them and shopping around and really don't like taking hte easy option and getting a voucher. One of my jobs was to do the thank you present for the team manager for rep basketball.  She is a friend of mine so it was easier for me to do and she was on holidays so there was no real rush- until now. Now she's back and collecting some stuff, so I had to have it ready.

I ended up with lululemon sports pants and a cap. She is a golfer and also goes to the gym so both I thought would be useful. She likes pink, cropped length coming into summer - done.

She was happy to get them, and I was happy to have the job done. However I didn't realise how happy she was until I saw her tonight at a girls night in trivia. Apparently no one has ever given her pants before and not only did I get the size right (this is hard enough to get right for yourself in their store) but the style and fit are something she hadn't tried before but were awesome. Now I have to puff my chest out and strut around for a while because I'm so proud of myself.

Then on top of this, my table goes on to win the trivia night for the second year in a row. Two wins in one night! It is the trivia night I look forward too because its not intellectual questions, it is trivial trivia - the stuff I am really good at. Makes me feel like I am not wasting my time watching the Bachelor (which I missed the finale to be at the trivia night) but I am actually researching!!

Minecraft club

 While the cats away..... or more specifically with Alexander at the Cuboree it was the perfect opportunity for the boys to have a sleepover - or as they said an overnight meeting of the minecraft club. Two members joined us from about midday and had a lovely time. They did a bit of mine crafting and played outside (all are basketballers). Above they are making their club tshirts which my boys were determined to make me do. This time I had to buy some shirts, but they all did the rest by themselves and they came out great.

 The boys are obsessed with making potions, so I incorporated this into a drink of milk, with flavours and also food colouring which they loved doing in little plastic milk bottles.

 

The night finished with a movie (Lego Movie) in their sleeping bags. 

We'd moved matresses into the living room so they could all sleep together. All the boys except one were fabulous, but its inevidible that your own kids are the one that you'd have trouble with. Spence was so excited and trying to make everyone happy - that is with the exception of me, who was far from happy with him. I let it go, but then he'd worked himself up so much that he was having nightmares during the night. Ugh. Not only having to deal with him, but concious not to wake the other boys. Mission accomplished, but lack of sleep when they rise at 5:50am does not make me a highly functioning individual!!

Reverse sexism?

I am having a bit of an issue at the moment, grappling with the idea of feminism and equality. I know big thoughts.

I watched Emma Watson's speech to the UN and agreed with everything she said. Feminism isn't anti-men and I would probably label myself a feminist. I agree that women should have every opportunity to be equal with me. However I believe that there are some differences and we should also acknowledge those differences, and preserve them too. I worry that we are heading someway into an Animal Farm society, in a way where women want to be more equal than men. 

As background, my little world, well away from the UN. I am a woman. I went to a local primary school, followed by a girls school for secondary school. I also had the privilege of going to university (for which I paid). I started work as soon as I was legally allowed 14 and 9 months, and worked part time through year 10, 11 & 12. I had a number of concurrent jobs during uni and started working full time at 20. I am married and have three boys. I have not worked full time (by choice) since my first son was born and I currently choose not to work. 

I am lucky to have choices and I am happy with the choices I have made. I have no desire to be the Prime Minister. I have enough trouble running the house, let alone a country. But this is my choice and I am not putting down anyone else's choice. 

Alexander is at the Cuboree camp this week. There are over 4000 people there and I am watching their Facebook pages for updates. They are also on the news. My issue is that all the kids reporting and their photos are girls. His basketball team this year was also mixed. I'm not saying that it was bad, in fact the mixed basketball was really nice, a cohesive and balanced team but for Alexander and the girls, it was not their only team. 

Here's the thing, in a nutshell. There doesn't seem to be anything that is for boys only. I know that sounds exclusive but sometimes to have single sex is a good thing. In basketball for example there are girls teams, which the boys aren't allowed to join, and then there are the boys teams, which the girls are allowed to join. Again in Cubs, girls are allowed, and encouraged to join, but the boys are not offered the same in Girl Guides and Brownies. Football too, girls are allowed in the boys teams, but boys not on the girls teams. I cannot see the equity here. For all of the girls who don't fit the classic stereotype and feel a need to be doing what the boys are doing, are there not an equal number of boys who deserve the same opportunity?

I am sure that much of my confusion about this comes from my experience at a girls school. I had a great experience - loved it. As a child, I was a tomboy. I was always outside with dad - building, playing, climbing etc while my brother was inside being creative. Possibly at an early age both of us were outside these classic gender stereotypes and as adults this has certainly changed. I was physically bigger than the girls and most boys at a young age, and that changes how people, adults, treat you as a kid. Expectations of you being old, physically treated differently because you are bigger. All of those things go in to forming your personality. Then I went from an outer suburban primary school, to a prestigious private girls school and had to learn their ways. Yet, what I found at the girls school was all the competition was removed. 

With no boys to impress, or compete against, there was a sense of freedom. We were free to be. It was very firmly impressed upon us that there was absolutely nothing we couldn't do. This was an academic school and there was a certain expectation to achieve - to be a Doctor or a Lawyer. There was never any discussion that your gender could possibly get in the way. This message, whether it was explicit or implicit really sunk in for me. I have never looked at anything as out of reach because I am a woman, but on the flip side, I have have never expected things because of it either. 

I know that women here have freedoms not available to women throughout the world. We are not enslaved, persecuted or humiliated because of our gender. What I don't understand is why, with all the freedoms that we do have, are our boys not allowed to have anything that is just for boys?

Cuboree

 With his bags all packed, and it feels like 2 million things named, my baby boy is off on cub camp for the next week. He is fairly nervous as he only knows one other kid going, but I know that he'll be fine and come home with a heap of new mates.

 He directed me to the drop off point using the Book of Everywhere that mum had created. It was nice to not only get out the hard copy, but touch something from mum again, especially today. She would have been so proud of him going off and doing this. Giving him the opportunity to be a leader. Great learning opportunity for him.

The twins will also miss him - mich as they're excited that he's going, a week is a long time when you're 7. Have a great trip my boy.

Shoreham

 We spent a wonderful weekend away at Shoreham. One of the school dads arranged the whole thing. I would say there were about 30 of us for the weekend in a school camp set up. The accomodation was basic and cheap, but the company more than made up for any lack in facilities.

With about 20 kids of similar ages, I dont think we saw them except for this visit to Merricks Beach on the way home. They were off running from sun up til we scraped them into bed. It was truly magical. So many kids, no fights, no injuries(!) and really no worries.

As adults we shared a lovely meal on saturday night after we'd sat on the deck in the sunshine watching the grand final. It was just great. Sunday was  obviously clean up day but again no fights or issues - everyone just pitched in and got it done. Fabulous

With the local we were calling in on sick, and my three well and truly OVER themselves, we had a quiet visit to the beach which was refreshing. The boys got to wear their wetsuits for the first time and had a bit of downtime, rather than being part of the gang.

After a swim and a play we headed home with a good sleep in our own beds at the front of everyones mind.