Balance

Balance. Its something I crave. I aways seem to be trying to get everything to an 'even' level, but a bit too much or too little and the scale seems to tip dramatically the other way - particularly with the kids. This is where 3 is really difficult, particularly twins.

Xandy is doing really well at the moment. He is on a bit of a winning streak in all areas. He is going great guns in cubs. He has an arm full of badges, is a sixer and heading off on Cuboree in the holidays. He's made 2 grand finals in basketball - and after years of never even making the finals, to be in a grand final is a big deal. Even things at school are good at the moment. He is doing well at sport there and today is off at district athletics, he has a lovely bunch of mates and is being invited to parties and included in things. School work is also going well. After a bumpy start with his teacher, that has all settled down and he is having fun and it seems learning things. We got the naplan results last night and I have to have a proud mum moment with his reading and math results in particular. He is a lovely boy - but a well balanced little nerd. 

Spencer too is basking in glory. He is full of determination for everything and that is paying off. He really wants to try out for rep basketball and as he is doing all this 'training' of his own bat, how can I say no? He has really improved, his basketball has improved out of sight - so much so that other parents and other kids are saying it to me. His fitness has improved so that at the school olympics he came 2nd in the 400m. (I never thought any child of mine would ever be able to run!) Then there's his reading which is just fantastic. He is reading his way through the Andy Griffiths books - his choice and is onto the 4th book in less than a week. He is reading them out loud and fully understanding them which is just amazing. I popped in to see his teacher just to touch base and see how he's going. She said straight away that he's just AMAZING. He has really lifted in everything and basically that everything with him was wonderful. He was full of confidence and really participative in class. She felt he was in a wonderful place - her words.

Then there's Benji. Not that anything bad has happened to him, just not the wonderful things that are happening to the others - or the results of their hard work. I know that this tide does change and it'll be his turn soon, but it is hard to manage when it must feel to him that the others are doing all of this wonderful stuff and maybe you're not. I caught his teacher this morning and she felt he was improving and doing really well. Thankfully she is lovely and is reluctant to compare the two boys which is great. I know I am guilty of it, and I think it is difficult when they share a room for one to be surrounded by his 'awards' not to have the opportunity to be proud of it because of how the other may feel. So I just have to think of a way to ease Benji out of his funk and not over do it....

Incentive or Bribe?

Well whatever you call it, I have employed this technique to all of my kids this week with simply jaw dropping results.

Honestly it is not my usual parenting tool of choice, I prefer to think that encouragement works much better - but I had to pull out the big guns.

First: Alexander. He is playing basketball but frankly is not really a competitive kid. I get it, and while I don't expect him to be Michael Jordon I do want him to know where the ball is and stop dancing and chatting to the other players.We offered him money for his first goal. This we borrowed from another basketball parent and the incentive was actually put in place last year (sot the results didn't really come quickly!) As time has passed the amount actually increased significantly - not that he really understands the value of it. Today he got that first goal! We were thrilled and so was he. After the goal he actually played better than he ever had. Maybe the pressure was off. So is the deal - no more money for subsequent goals.

Onto the twins. They have a couple of obsessions - one is the Dinosaur Train which is a Jim Henson production of which they have the DVD. The other is non-participation at kinder mat time. They will sit defiantly while all kinds of fun things happen around them. Here's a visual - 25 kids and adults dancing Zorba the Greek and my two sitting glumly in the middle. This has been going on some 18 months.

I smelt a rat the other day when they came home and said they had done the hokey pokey and wanted to do it at home. When asked if they had participated they said no, but they had watched. And it really does get through (contrary to some specialists who suggested non-participation was due to speech disorder and not understanding). They knew all the words and actions.

I suggested to them that if they participated at mat time for a whole week, they may get a dinosaur train toy. Friday was the first day and the teachers said not only did they join in but they had fun! Lets hope a week is long enough to break their bad habit.

So it seems that the incentive (or bribe) works for my kids. Would love to hear your experience...