Guru

Sometimes to change your life it takes a lightening bolt. Sometimes it can be much more subtle than that but it feels like you have been struck while holding an umbrella and dressed in tinfoil! I think you get the point- but I had one of those expeeriences last night. I went as normal me but came home with a totally new way of thinking, thanks to the guru.
My guru doesn't even realize the extent of her power. She is not doing it for my benefit, simply sharing her own experiences and how she is working through it and challenging herself. Her honesty and insight has helped me to begin to see things in a totally different way.
My own opinion of myself in my relationship is unselfish and always giving. I often feel misunderstood, not heard or not thought about. (see not selfish feelings at all - its just me me me!!!) The big squirrel and I have been together for 16 years next month and married for 10 in September. A lot has changed in that time- mortgages, marriage not to mention three beautiful but often time sucking boys. He has gone from being my only, to one of many. He can take care of himself, so I expect him to. I am not the girl he met, nor is he the boy I met, but that is really for the better.
He can drive me mental, after this long he knows just how to push my buttons, but thanks to my guru this is now also my issue not just his. We are so busy running and trying to keep up, that we are misreading and misinterpreting each others signals, affection and intentions. Sometimes it is so hectic and noisy that it is hard to imagine stealing a quiet moment to have a conversation.
In changing my thinking it will change my life, my relationship. I don't expect immediate results or for it to be easy but it is certainly worth the effort.
To my guru, you are a rare being. You truly have a unique insight, a divine turn of phrase and a beautiful caring nature. Thank you for being you and for sharing your guruness.