Its like we have been on some crazy roller coaster ride - in total darkness. You just don't know what is coming up ahead, you feel sick in your stomach the whole time, the anticipation almost kills you and even if its good, you just know you can't relax. This is my life at the moment.
I was planning the day to go and visit mum is hospital, and get a call from Dad to say she's going home. I can't believe it. She is really good. Well at the moment. It is hard to know whether to celebrate or wait for the massive BUT. I don't think I will be throwing any celebratory parties, nor settle into thinking she is recovered and its all smooth sailing from here, but we do have every reason for a smile to cross our lips. To breathe a little and relax - not too much, just a little. We know how quickly things can change and for now, as it should always be, we are taking each day as it comes and trying to enjoy the little things.
Showing posts with label Mums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mums. Show all posts
Saturday, March 15
Wednesday, March 12
Worth the wait
Not knowing.
The only thing that makes is better is knowing and the BEST feeling in the world is seeing.
We huddled in a corner finally with news that she was coming up. She had lived through the operation. We had no idea what we were going to get. In the neurology ward you get all types, the person unable to control bizarre yells and groans to the person sitting in a vegetative state. At this point all we knew was that she was still alive and was coming up.
Its that moment when you want to both look and not look, but gee I am so glad I looked. Mums bed swung around the corner and she smiled at us. Her tiny head slightly propped but she could not only see, but she could see and recognise us. Then she spoke - " Hello my darlings. What a wonderful welcoming party" The relief washed over me in waves. She can see, she knows us and she can speak. She sounds like mum. She is cracking jokes like Robin Williams on a roll. She is back to the woman we know and love.
She still has a massive bandage around her head and a bit of a fat lip, but the immediate change in her is absolutely amazing. She answers all the mandatory questions correctly and we eventually leave, go home and eat together where we can finally stomach food. Lets hope this progress continues.
Tuesday, March 11
Goodbye
i couldn't work today. Mum had to go into hospital for scans prior to her operation today and I just didn't think I was up to it. As it turned out she ended up staying there in preparation for the operation and I was really glad I had made that decision.
Mum called just after three. They were on their way to our place, having been told they were home for the night, only to be called back in to the hospital, where they had been all day, to have more tests etc. As you can imagine, this only served to scare mum further and she decided she wanted to see us first.
I picked the boys up from school and Mum and Dad were already at our house. They were having a cup of tea and the boys were chatting about their day until we felt the mood change. Mum was saying goodbye.
Of course she is scared. We all are. Brain surgery is nothing to be sneezed at. On top of this she has been so sick and frail of late that there is a real possibility that she wont make it. Or if she does make it, there are some serious risks. Memory, speech and vision are the top three at risk. Oh and ability to walk. All pretty serious stuff.
We have had this chat once before, however that time we didn't know it was cancer. We hadn't talked about terminal. We only had a mild risk, of an operation. The normal risk. This time was much different. The risk was bigger and we all knew it. We were saying goodbye - just in case.
She knows we love her and we know she loves us. Each day since her initial seizure we have been so much more vocal about our love. We are much more in the moment, and that life is so much more fragile. But there is something so final about saying it to someone, to whom you may never see again that is just so much harder. We simply focus on the fact that we are truly blessed to have the opportunity to say it, when so often there is not the option.
Now all that we can do is wait and hope and find something to distract us.
Mum called just after three. They were on their way to our place, having been told they were home for the night, only to be called back in to the hospital, where they had been all day, to have more tests etc. As you can imagine, this only served to scare mum further and she decided she wanted to see us first.
I picked the boys up from school and Mum and Dad were already at our house. They were having a cup of tea and the boys were chatting about their day until we felt the mood change. Mum was saying goodbye.
Of course she is scared. We all are. Brain surgery is nothing to be sneezed at. On top of this she has been so sick and frail of late that there is a real possibility that she wont make it. Or if she does make it, there are some serious risks. Memory, speech and vision are the top three at risk. Oh and ability to walk. All pretty serious stuff.
We have had this chat once before, however that time we didn't know it was cancer. We hadn't talked about terminal. We only had a mild risk, of an operation. The normal risk. This time was much different. The risk was bigger and we all knew it. We were saying goodbye - just in case.
She knows we love her and we know she loves us. Each day since her initial seizure we have been so much more vocal about our love. We are much more in the moment, and that life is so much more fragile. But there is something so final about saying it to someone, to whom you may never see again that is just so much harder. We simply focus on the fact that we are truly blessed to have the opportunity to say it, when so often there is not the option.
Now all that we can do is wait and hope and find something to distract us.
Wednesday, June 5
Monet
For Mums birthday we decided to take her into the National Gallery to see Monet's Garden. 
She is still well enough to do this kind of thing and art is something that we all love so Mr P, Mum and I went there today. Together we wandered the large exhibition. It was magical to be able to see these much published works in the flesh - both up close to examine the movement of the brush stokes and the visible canvas and then to step back and see his true magic at work. The way the eye mixes the paint and illuminates the work is amazing.
The other thing that was lovely to see was the scale of the works. That is something that you don't appreciate from books. As he aged the works got bigger. There were also some studies so you could see his base painting and how quickly he worked. Up close these seemed out of place but from a distance, these basic paint sketches had a magical quality.
I really enjoyed the later works - bigger, bolder and much more expressive. Painted in France during World War 1 after the loss of his second wife, one can only imagine that his painting became a form of escape from the horrors of life and he built his beautiful garden for solitude.
If you are in Melbourne, I highly recommend it. There are no haystacks - it is really about his garden. There are a few landscapes and early works, but a really good exhibition and Mum, Mr P and I all really enjoyed it. So much so that I will take the boys to see it too.
She is still well enough to do this kind of thing and art is something that we all love so Mr P, Mum and I went there today. Together we wandered the large exhibition. It was magical to be able to see these much published works in the flesh - both up close to examine the movement of the brush stokes and the visible canvas and then to step back and see his true magic at work. The way the eye mixes the paint and illuminates the work is amazing.
The other thing that was lovely to see was the scale of the works. That is something that you don't appreciate from books. As he aged the works got bigger. There were also some studies so you could see his base painting and how quickly he worked. Up close these seemed out of place but from a distance, these basic paint sketches had a magical quality.
I really enjoyed the later works - bigger, bolder and much more expressive. Painted in France during World War 1 after the loss of his second wife, one can only imagine that his painting became a form of escape from the horrors of life and he built his beautiful garden for solitude.
If you are in Melbourne, I highly recommend it. There are no haystacks - it is really about his garden. There are a few landscapes and early works, but a really good exhibition and Mum, Mr P and I all really enjoyed it. So much so that I will take the boys to see it too.
Sunday, May 12
Happy Mothers Day
We had a lovely turkey dinner and raspberry cake served hot - a Donna Hay in todays paper.
Happy Mothers Day - to all the mothers everywhere.
Wednesday, May 4
Mothers Morning Tea
I love Kinder! Today they hosted a morning tea to celebrate Mothers Day.
The kids sang us song, gave us gifts that they had made at kinder, drawn cards
and then we sat outside and had biscuits and juice. What a lovely way to spend the morning with my boys.
Monday, February 15
Lists
I have a little obsession with lists - ok truth be known a big obsession but I am trying to control it or maybe I am spreading it. With everyone in the house so active now, my brain has been hurting trying to remember it all. So this is now a laminated list on Alexander's school bag. It lists all the things he needs to remember - things into his bag, runners on sport day and the like. I have colour coded it so that he knows if he has activities after school and to remember to take any extra stuff on those days. He has decorated the other side with his name so he can easily find his bag in the pile at the door in the morning.
When I have the laminator out I can't stop myself. Between the laminator and the labeller I don't know which is more addictive. Anyway so I was working on this for myself. On the front it has my resolutions. On the inside is my schedule - which as main taxi driver its full of the kids activities. I have colour coded mine as to what I am doing, and what things or bags I need to take. Hopefully this can get me out of the house in a happier and more energetic mood, which is sometimes half the battle won. I made it into a little booklet with another page which is blank - but still laminated. I have a whiteboard pen which I can write notes - things for dinner and little reminders, like pancake tuesday tomorrow and parent teacher interview. Lets see how we go. Oh, and it is all handwritten because now the printer is broken. Murphy's law it happens when it is full of new ink!
Sunday, May 10
Happy Mothers Day
A terribly unflattering photo of a joyous mob of boys celebrating their mother - just FAR TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING! I need to teach these boys to sleep in..........but apart from that I had a special day surrounded by all my boys. And for my mum, not only did I go and visit her mum with her, but we put on a nice BBQ spread for dinner with the family.
Happy Mothers Day to every mum
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)