Sunday, October 5


Today I managed to get my stuff together and arrange for everyone to be somewhere so I could go out. As a sidebar, I have to say I find it really frustrating that if I want to do anything, it is my responsibility to ensure everyone else is sorted. Even if I am going out for dinner with the girls, I have to feed everyone before I go. I digress.

Today I attended the first of 5 motivational sessions and it was actually really good. It wasn't the stand up rah-rah of Stephen Covey but it was structured in a way that made me think. What am I good at and what am I not good at. Initial motivation probably isn't really my problem. I am the ultimate "Ideas Man". What I am not, very clearly, is 'Action Man'. Pun intended.

The course is structured into blocks so as to deal with different segments as we go. It was great to have the opportunity and push to look introspectively at myself. What is my motivation and what drives me. What I did find that the person that I am nastiest to, the one who really gets all my mistreatment is myself. Things I would never do to a boss, in a workplace, I don't think twice about doing to myself.

Heres a classic example. Since Mum died I have cared less about mundane jobs - like the bills. They come in and I can identify them from the envelope. I know they are bills, I simply choose not to open them and pop them in a drawer. They all go in the same drawer. Then they start to change colour and come more regularly. Some of them that is, and they still go in the drawer. I assume with some of them they are beginning to threaten disconnection of the service. Thats what the phone, electricity and gas do. Its not that I don't have the money to pay, its really that I can't be bothered and don't want to deal with it. Ridiculous now that I write it down.

The radio went off the other day as the alarm for the big squirrel at 5:30am. You can imagine I was not at all impressed. I would usually roll over and go back to sleep, but this particular morning was an add about paying your car registration by month and not forgetting to pay it. I was not rolling over this morning as it reminded me that the car rego had not been paid. They do not send reminders just police cars that find you on the road and fine you double on the spot (sadly this I know from experience). Not only that but an unregistered car on the road does not have TAC coverage and is a big problem. It was this problem that moved me to action to pay that particular bill. The consequences seem to have to be insurmountable for me to take action.

It is for this reason that my homework will be addressing this area of my life. This roadblock that I use as an excuse to not do the things that I want to do because this is not done. I need to get control back, one baby step at a time.

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