Tomorrow marks 4 weeks since mum was sent home from hospital - the neurology ward. In the last 6weeks we have been on an incredible roller coaster ride, with dad receiving treatment for cancer and in the same week he came out of hospital, he was sitting in an ambulance with mum.
With days spent by her bedside, we were expecting, and told, the worst with brain surgery scheduled for the Wednesday. About 10 minutes later, a doctor was back in the room explaining there may be some discrepancies with their diagnosis and we would no more in the morning. That Tuesday morning, mum was in a diffent room and we were chatting waiting for the doctor - on a knife edge but still expecting the worst. Then a registrar came in to discharge her. Of course we were suggesting he was in the wrong room - but then we saw a doctor who said they were 95 percent sure it was a bleed and she was going home that day. We didn't even have any shoes for mum to go home in - that is how unexpected the news was. Now it is a month later and a follow up scan is scheduled for tomorrow.
Mum has been doing well, adjusting tot he medication and taking it slowly. She has been up and down in her outlook and it is hard for all of us to do anything without thinking about 14 August. No plans are being made- it is hard to see the future beyond tomorrow. Mum thinks there is still a tumor and wants everything sorted by tomorrow. We are, as you can imagine, hoping with everything we have, that this was an isolated incident due to stress and self medication, and that she is going to be fine.
I was going to write her a letter to let her know how much I love her and want her to fight against anything that may be in our way- but I decided against it. Not that I don't feel that, but I don't want her to feel like I am yang goodbye just in case. She needs all our positivity and love and I know she knows how much she means to me. . I think the waiting and uncertainty is the hardest bit. Now just to get on with things until we know more of what our future holds.....