We had to cut our large shade bearing lemon tree back to bare bones because it was infested with little wasps that creates bulbs on the branches to feed and breed. It doesn't affect the tree as such but ours stopped fruiting, so the only way to get rid of it is to cut it out. Which we did. Now the tree is coming back to life.I think this tree is a bit of an analogy to my life at the moment - the only way I can get rid of the bad stuff that festers - is to cut it out and concentrate my energies on growing.
Last night I was tested. I went out to dinner with some school mums and the conversation was travelling in a way that made me feel really inferior - about everything from not working, where we live, how we dress and what we give the kids and disgustingly - philanthropy. They didn't mean it and in the moment I let myself feel like that, that they were better than me (in retrospect I am sure I am not alone in this feeling). I like my house, I like that I don't work and spend quality time with the kids while they are little because too quickly they will be big and not want to hang out with Mum anymore! I like that I craft and am not obsessive over labels. I am pleased too that I don't spoil my kids (well I do but not to the same level as we were talking) and make them things and am trying to instill the idea of giving rather than receiving.
So I have decided to cut it out, get on with growing and concentrate on the good things. Some good things that I am loving at the moment is Kids Craft Weekly Christmas Advent Ideas and also a Christmas Wrap-Up at Sew Mama Sew which is full of ideas to make for presents - all November so check them out.
ohhh nic, i know how you feel... don't you let then get to you. you have a beautiful home, beautiful family and you are a truly amazing beautiful person. good on you for just letting it go and getting on. i feel a little the sam eat the minute, always pressure from others, but time slike monday where we just sit and knit are good for my soul, i love it. keep smiling and we must catch up soon
ReplyDeleteAh, you stick to what you know is best, Mum. I bite my tongue all the time with a few friends (as, I'm sure, do they!). I do find as time goes by and the kids get older that I am a whole lot comfier in my 'Mum' skin. We have made choices which sound similar to yours but I'm constantly bemused by the different takes on this whole parenting malarkey!
ReplyDeleteIn the meanwhile, those little gall wasps are nasty.