Guilty

Not them (this time) me. Its not actually what I have done - it is that nagging guilt of all the things I haven't done or feel I should be doing. I think of it in layers - your underwear is that guilt that you always have on - the guilt for your family - should be doing things, they should not be doing things, spending more time - balance, you know the stuff. I don't think that every goes away....or if it does its like taking of your bra and it all just is hanging there!
The other guilt is the stuff you take on. Pressures from other people, pressures to keep up, cleaning etc, but the stuff at the moment that is really troubling me is the pressure to do things for other people - meeting their expectations.
As you may know, I am on the kinder committee. This is a volunteer position and basically as a group of parents, we RUN the kinder - a small business. We employ and pay the staff and have to comply with an endless list of rules and regulations and deal with government departments. So really it is a big ask to be on. I actually don't have any kids at the kinder this year so I feel I am well and truly doing my bit! Now it is November and time for people to move on and we are looking for a new president and I felt the eyes turn to me. While I am flattered to be thought of, I just can't do it. Already too many pressures - too many layers, I can't take on all that goes with that - the extra meetings, the extra curricular committments in addition to just getting the twins settled into kinder. So here am I drowning under the guilt, while "they" have no intention of stepping up. When asked for nominations - all eyes go to the floor. Why can't I do that??? Why do I have to feel the guilt???????????????????