Sunday, November 21

Its so easy for you

yelled the 7-11 man. He was angry because I moved my car from in front of the petrol bouser to in front of the door. I moved my car so he could sell more petrol and also ensure the safety of my 3 boys as they accompanied my inside.
He was mad because it was hot and he was busy. People were buying slurpees - so many that the straws and cups had run out. He was mad because a buzzer was sounding to make him aware that someone may have run out without paying for $30 of petrol. He was mad because he was the only one in there and couldn't keep track of everything. His biggest problem was getting mad at me.
I was tired. On the tail end of 4 days of solo parenting I managed to actually get the boys out of costumes and into some nice clothes for a lovely party. We had a lovely party but they are busy boys and hard to keep track of. It was prettier and hotter than I had anticipated and while we had a lovely time, I was longing for 5 minutes of silence.
We needed petrol. I don't like filling up with the kids in tow but we wouldn't make it home otherwise. We pulled in and I moved the car. It was hot and I daren't leave the kids in the car. No doubt the 7-11 man would have found time to report me if I did! We went inside and got our slurpees and were actually never far from the front counter. We joined the queue only to accosted by the man.
"Did you get fuel?" He spat at me while still 'serving' someone else.
" Yes" I replied "$30 worth at that pump"
and then his tirade began - telling me that I shouldn't move my car unless it is a busy day and it is a busy day inside the shop but not at the petrol and he couldn't see it and now the buzzer is making a noise and and and "IT IS ALL SO EASY FOR YOU"
I actually gave it back to him (which is a little out of character) and after I got over myself, I thought about it. My aim is to make it look easy, project this perfect picture , like a duck gliding effortlessly across the water. The reality is vastly different and we hide our duck feet frantically paddling underneath.
This is more my reality - luckily there is no sound and you cant see the chocolate I bribed them with.

1 comment:

  1. ah, the truth! I think that we are all frantically paddling down below, hoping that we stay on top of all the things that we must; the reality is though, that it's hard enough when our partner is around to 'help' but when it all falls on our shoulders, it's time to just get by, that is good enough... I thought that you all swanned around swimmingly at the party, so your 'charade' was very convincing : )

    Don't be too hard on yourself, I think that we really all do understand {and I certainly don't expect you to pretend that it is easier than it is} just spill it out if you need to, I'll try to help in any way that I can. xox