Nanny 911

It had been coming for a while. A busy schedule, catching up for playdates, running a small business, volunteering at kinder and the general running of the house- it all gets a bit too much.

Saturday around Ikea - probably not the best idea with the kids. I managed and the kids were all very good really. It is just such a pain to push around two heavy boys and manage and entertain a four year old.

I was probably a bit unprepared and we managed a snack and a rest. Next on the agenda was a trip to kmart for some shoes. After trying them all on, we settled on a pair of boots - and this is where it started to unravel. From kmart to the car, change nappies in the boot, put all the kids into car seats, pack the pram away. A tried on the shoes which are all of 5 minutes old and decideds they are too big. Now this seems like such a little thing, but it was just the end of me.

Some times it just feels like everyone comes first. Get up feed everyone, whoops no time for food for me. Get everyone dressed, feed everyone, put them all in the car - even just to get out of the door is an enourmous task. There is not enough time nor do I have enough hands. I want to give them all the time in the world - they deserve that but some days it is just too hard. When you are close to the edge - what good are you. People always say - make sure you take some time out for you, and I know how much better you are after this - but how do you get this? There is no time out. What do I do with them while I am 'off duty'? Mum is great and I don't think I could do it without her, but she still works and its not fair to always burden her. The guilt of not being there is almost as bad as being there on a bad day.

I ended up calling mum and she actually took A for a sleep over. He thought it was fun and he was a bit special. The big squirrel was working late, so I put the twins down to sleep and settled down on the couch to wallow in self pity. Nanny 911 came on with a family who had 6 kids under 5. They had twins who were almost five, then 3 girld who were two - yes -TRIPLETS and then had a one year old daughter (how with that many kids they even found time for sex I don't know!!) Watching this family struggle with the day to day task was great. A lot of their struggles echoed mine - but can I say they made my life look easy. Its a bit sad that you have to see someone worse off than you to appreciate your own situation - but it did help.