As I have been reading your blogs today there have been lots of birth stories and new babies, and in my head I have had to balance this with the sad news that one of my girlfriends is in the midst of a miscarriage. She has been struggling to get pregnant for some time (and doing everything she can and everything right) and we were all so thrilled for her and her husband that they had finally got pregnant. And then today, the saddness of the miscarriage.
She is such a lovely caring and giving person, I would love to be able to do something for her - but I know from my own experience that there is little anyone can do. I can't give her a baby, and I cant make this one come back. I found the hardest thing to overcome was all the planning that you do in your head. I wont buy new pants because I am going to get fat, I will have to get out those maternity clothes, I wont plan holidays becasue I wont be able to move, ring the obsty, save up annual leave, when I will finish work, the baby will be here then........
The pain does fade over time. I was lucky and I got pregnant with my lovely boys not long after my miscarriage, the sheer shock of twins really overtook my life and made me feel like we had found the baby we had lost... but at the time I was just so sad. Crying was the only thing that made me feel better. I want to give her something to let her know that I am thinking of her and I understand that it just wont be alright, because it just sucks. Initially I thought flowers but I don't like the reminder of it and then they die - what do you think about a bottle of wine - for the two of them to share and ourn over? Any ideas?
i, too, lost our first baby prior to going on to having 2 little wonders. and i was given some beautiful white tulips which were amazing.
ReplyDeletefor ourselves, we bought a beautiful white flowering gum from ceres and planted it in our backyard as a commemoration of our lost little one. the tree is now about 6 or 7 metres tall and full of character and i so love when it flowers.
[but the bottle of red wouldn't have gone astray either.]
oh nic i am so sorry for her, she must be devistaed, i can't begin to understand how they must be feeling. but then maybe a slight positive at least they know they can get pregnent again.
ReplyDeletesend her my love
speak soon
nay